It's my birthday today.... I'm happy about that. Something about being here. Breathing. Taking advantage of who and what's around me. I'm learning to be selfless. It's not working. But I'm still trying it out. I figure it's gotta kick in sometime. Fake it to make it.

Goals starting today.

1. Exercise 3-4 x's a week (Stop being such a wuss, Jeannine!)

2. Give whether that means money or time or both. (Do something that hurts, Jeannine!)

3. Be prepared. Organize my life and work a bit better, including saving money and planning events like vacations, and short trips to acheive goals. (Plan to do something that hurts more, Jeannine!)

4. Pray without ceasing (Pray, and let God's life influence yours, Jeannine!)

5. Journal so that i have record of all of these things. (You know your memory alone is a lost cause, Jeannine!)

It's thundering out.

I can't figure out if that's why I can't sleep or not.

But when I'm awake like this, all I can think about is work.

What needs to be done, what I can do better, how I can help others excel?

How can I excel? Not just in work, but in life (but maybe that's work?)

I like the word Excel. It just makes me think "move forward." I want that.

I think there is a time to stand still, a time to ponder, to breathe in the moment.

And then there are times to excel, to propel, to motivate, to surge, to grow, to act.

The lightening strikes, finally, and everytime, no fail, I count... One Mississippi, Two Mississippi, until the thunder rolls and either I feel a tinge of fear, or count into the night.

Today I had a marvelous day....it was a stretch, and I don't feel like the day is done, yet, but so far, so good.

Painting is my gig. Precise, straight lines-I really do love them. So I did some of that.

I planned to go running with a friend over the weekend. I like to run.

I went to work, and hired two people to my company. (Not MY company, but the one I work for.... I hope they do really well.)

I watched 1.5 episodes of Band of Brothers with friends down the street and decided to have a record listening party... you know... one where you drink wine/beer and just sit and listen, and talk to each other without watching a TV of some sort, and listen to music. (Did I already say that?)

And finally, I get to sit on this awesome chair that i left at an old church I used to go to and found again 3 weeks ago, and listen to a record that was on sale 'just for me.'

Sometimes I don't know about having purpose, or finding my daily purpose or being of purpose in the world, but withing freedom to pursue happiness (which can often be found in the midst of our purpose) I have found blessings.

(o! AND I found where the mice in my apt. ((that are now, hopefully, all dead)) were storing the walnuts that they found in a plastic bag a few months back!) BONUS!

Those are my parents. They are going to be married for 40........40! years. It's time for a party. Don't you agree?

A song with a swear word. (Sorry, Mom)

I understand there is a way to read the writing on the wall.

And I know that there is height to the clouds above.

I can hear the ocean spray across the sandy shore.

I can lean into the wind on Mt. Top

And I want to lean into you.

I want to touch the scars in your hands

I want to look down from the heaven's

To feel the touch of your moist cold breath

and join in the fight of your spirit

I want to lean into you.

You're so wild you're so wild and I don't know what to do

You're so wild you're so wild and I want to be with you

Would you be tamed for me, Lord?

Would you walk into the flame, Lord?

Would you put the reigns on?

Would you become lame, Lord?

Would you take a cut, Lord?

Would you keep the buck, Lord?

Would you get down on your luck, Lord?

O, Geez, what the fuck, Lord?

You're so wild, you're so wild, I don't know what to do, Lord

You're so wild, you're so wild, and I want to be with you.

Not to be confused for my relationship with an ex-boyfriend.

It is -5 degrees out. That means it's cold folks. My car was even complaining as it couldn't keep up with it's heating priorities. (My car HATES it when I'm not warm enough... She's so good to me) I asked her what was wrong and she asked me if I would ever consider plugging in a space heater if I couldn't be content with what she was offering me. I gave it some consideration, and this is what I said- " Little car, my little car, I am very happy with you. You give me light for the road ahead of me and travelling mercies to every destination. I put gas into you (unless I'm a dummy) and oily liquids, and sometimes I take you to my friends', down at the shop, to show us what things can be changed for the better. I'm sorry that I don't wash you as much as I should (I'll make the effort to change) but generally, as I pour into you, you pour out for me. I love it when you play my favorite music and hug my body with your padded seats. (Heck! you are asking about my needs, and you are just my car!) You make me so happy. Space heaters are for wussies, by the way. Now show me some o' that nasty speed you put down!" Ah, yes, I think my car takes better care of me than people... sometimes.